she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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