first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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