i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
