Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
