it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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