I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i dont even know how to be here
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
