everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He better not be in your backpack
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
