You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
