Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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