I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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