is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
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