Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
