We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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