i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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