..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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