i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
