Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
