NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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