Is it because I queefed?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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