the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I can't turn off my feet"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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