So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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