No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
