Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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