Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
