If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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