I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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