Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
