Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
