Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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