i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
