my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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