he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
