oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
