Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
