I'm really into asian looking animals
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
