quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize