Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
