pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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