It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My penis needs a shock collar
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
