Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
