So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
