I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it's great music for shaving your balls
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
