...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
