did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
