i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
