She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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