i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
