I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
There's always time for handjobs
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
