carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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