this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
