I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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