Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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